My New Year's Resolution
Happy New Year, dear beautiful people.
(Please close your eyes and tell yourself how beautiful you are. And repeat it to yourself until you feel how much you mean it.)
I've read this somewhere: "If your year was anything like mine, you'll want to write 'Survived 2016' on your CV..."
I partially agree. 2016 was an intense year for me, to say the least. But, as I always say, if it were easy, there would be no point.
I'm now one year wiser, and one year stronger, in so many ways.
And I am currently at a stage in my life where I feel how infinite the possibilities are. I am beginning to comprehend how many limits we are imposing on ourselves because it's easy to stay within the trodden path. And how, in all honesty, we can be and do anything we want.
I'm only starting to comprehend it. I still have all these preconceived theories on who I should be and how I will be happy, and how I will make people proud, and how I'll be proud of myself. But I recognise that it's a big step that I now have this awareness, and I'm proud of myself for that.
So here it is, my new year's resolution:
Dancing.
Allowing myself to be taken by the music. Literally and metaphorically.
Dancing really puts me on the spot. The self-consciousness sirens start going off, the cynical voice in my head starts yelling at me that I look stupid, that I'm an embarrassment, that I don't know what I'm doing, that I'm a mess, that I'm not worthy...
Oh yes, if I give absolute control to that part of me, it gets ugly!
And then, metaphorically, I'll be allowing myself to disregard that voice more and more in my daily life.
It's OK to have that part of ourselves. It helps us in so many ways. It helps us discriminate when to act in a certain way, and when to hold back. We don't want to only go with the music, we need some filter.
But my filter is quite a bit on the distorting side. So I'm acknowledging that part of me, I'm grateful for its concern, but I'm no longer allowing it to take absolute control.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Because nobody is watching.
Don't flatter yourself!
"In your 20’s and 30’s, you worry about what other people think. In your 40’s and 50’s you stop worrying about what other people think. Finally in your 60’s and 70’s, you realize they were never thinking about you in the first place!"
Nobody cares how you lead your life.
People that love you want you to be happy. People that don't love you are no longer relevant. Focus your energy on the only person that is stuck with having to love you, and that is yourself.
You only need to make one person happy: You. So dance at the drumming beat of your music, and sing the song you've been hiding all along. For you.
For me.
Are you human or are you dancer?
Do you belong in the tribe of humans, who light their life with meaning and create their own music?
Or do you belong in the tribe of dancers, following a perfectly choreographed sequence from their moment of birth to their last breath?
It's good to be in contact with both worlds.
I recently figured out how much I have subconsciously been affected by Dickens' Hard Times. Seeking a balance between the circle and the square.
I've always been square. Rules, order, structure, organisation... I love square. I know square. I get it. Square is easy for me. Square is simple for me.
And, as a result, now, in order to evolve, I'm trying circle. Flow, mystery, devotion, trust, intuition... Dance.
Finding my music:
What song do I dance to?
That's where experimentation comes in. That's where I'll have to take leaps of faith, get out of my comfort zone, let go of the safe harbour, and fly for unknown lands.
And that's why I'll be dancing more and more. Floating around untrodden paths to choose the one that was always meant to be mine.
After all, only by getting used to dancing will I ever get good at dancing.
So here's to an awe-inspiring 2017. Letting go of any attachment to 2016. Letting go of everything that no longer serves us. Opening ourselves to the graceful melody that we are about to create.