I used to think that being positive meant always telling yourself that everything was OK.
This meant that, however I felt on any given occasion, I would convince myself that I was doing OK.
Don’t get me wrong: This worked brilliantly.
In the short term.
It was quite the discovery for me when I eventually realised that it wasn’t healthy for me to live in denial. We are not always happy about everything. That’s just the way it is.
And that’s OK.
That does not deny us from the title of being positive. It just sanctifies our title of being human.
Being Positive the Right Way
I’ve come to learn that being positive and being dishonest are therefore mutually exclusive.
There is nothing positive about burying down your fears and insecurities.
What being positive comes down to is in fact acknowledging these fears and insecurities for what they are: Temporary stories in our head to which we are giving power.
And, again, this is all part of being human.
Being human means you feel things. Things that are not always pleasant.
And numbing feelings does not make you more positive – it rather kills a part of you which is there for a reason.
Therefore, I’ve come to the understanding that being positive is about living with your feelings, staying with your feelings, and giving your feelings the time they need to grow and mature, because eventually they are bound to settle into Happiness.
I have found this to be a much healthier approach to life, and so I am sharing it with you.
I no longer try to convince myself that I am fine when I’m not. I no longer tell myself how I should be feeling.
Instead, I live with the current emotion in the current moment, and I even let it take over, if my intuition tells me that this is what will help the process.
Being positive is now about this inner certainty that “it will all be OK in the end”, even if now I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. All I have to do is experience this current moment and whatever emotion it brings with it. All I have to do is be real in this moment, and, if telling myself that I am doing OK does not feel real, then I do not do that.
I still look at the bright side and make the most out of possibilities and see the good in every situation. Because this has proven to be a healthy habit that brings out the best version of myself.
The difference is that I’ve stopped being too harsh on myself.
And so I am Happy.
My Definition of Happiness
Happiness is Peace of Mind.
When I talk about Happiness, I do not talk about laughing my lungs out or even having fun (although there’s nothing wrong with any of these…)
For me, Happiness is something much more permanent. It is an underlying sense of Wisdom that it is all perfect. It is a source of Courage and Unconditional Love that we can tap into under all circumstances. It is a sense of Tranquillity that holds hands with all that is Genuine about Who We Are.
So, for me, being Happy is paying honour to all that is real about you. Happiness is trusting that you are already perfect no matter what. Happiness is knowing that you are beautiful inside and out, and that you are enough and worthy.
This Happiness knows no fears or insecurities. And that is why the darkness seems so temporary and weak when compared to the eternal Light.
It is this Happiness that allows for positivity.
No matter the downfall, there is always that knowledge and Faith within us that we will rise up again.
And we will.
It takes a lot of effort to keep placing obstacles on our own way to Happiness. So we might as well stop doing that.
We might as well tap into our authenticity and just be. Be Present and be OK with that. Be Peaceful with that. Be True.